Big News

  

 
We are having a baby!!


I have been hesitant to share this news in such a public place but after much thought I realized such exciting news is hard to contain.  This is a life changer.  Big time.   I think I was also a little nervous about talking about this baby because I was still processing it all myself.

There is a bit of a story that goes with this news.  It is pretty personal and hard for me to be open about this but this is part of this little guy's story.

I have endometriosis.  I was recently diagnosed, however, I have had problems since I was eighteen. That first visit the doctor came in to tell me that I was still able to have children.  I remember thinking, "What? I didn't even know that was up for grabs!?!"  Starting a family was not a top priority at eighteen for me, but wondering about how it all would play out down the road crossed my mind from time to time.  Over the years I have had several visits to emergency rooms when I would get a cyst that burst or I would have a flare up.  

In November of 2011 I had surgery due to a particularly bad episode that revealed a large cyst.  The cyst was removed and was tested, it was not cancerous, thank God but the doctor found that my endometreosis is significant.  She let me know that this issue was the reason I had not yet been able to get pregnant.  Fertility is a common issue with endometreosis.  After the surgery there were many months of hoping and praying for a baby.  In August we found out I was pregnant.  Jason made me take all three tests in the box.  Finally, after the third one being positive we accepted it was real.  We smiled, laughed, and cried!!  It was such a weight off our minds and hearts and a answer to many prayers.

I am now 24 weeks pregnant and everything has been going great.  I think feeling the baby move is one of the freakiest/coolest things ever!  We found out we were having a boy and that made it even more real.  A baby boy! Wow.

Last week I started having pain on my right side.  I was working at the time and my kind co-workers brought me over the the family birthing unit to get things checked out.  There are some perks to working in a hospital.  Help is near by.

After some testing they found that I was not in pre-term labor and that the baby was doing just fine.  Thank God!!  However, they had to find out why I was having pain.  After more testing they found that I had another endometreoma on the right ovary, similar to the one I had removed in November of last year.  One concern about having these cysts/endometreomas is that it can cause the ovary to twist which would stop blood flow to the ovary.  Without blood flow the ovary would die if not corrected surgically.

Surgery is not an ideal situation while pregnant, it poses risks to the baby and the Mom.  The doctor and I talked about this possibility and that it might come to that at some point for me.  This was a lot to take in.  Jason came and brought me home, the pain had slowly been getting better.  I went home knowing that at anytime I could have a situation that would be extremely painful and would lead to a surgery.  

Those of you that know me well know that my faith in God is a reality for me and that it is the foundation for my day to day life.  I understand that not everyone shares this belief but this is the lens I see life though.  While I was at the hospital that night last week I was reminded that it comes back to surrendering all I hope for and hold close, to God.  I have to lay it down.  I am not able to control what could or couldn't happen.  Not possible.  I am not God.  I was also reminded that this baby has brought me and Jason great joy.  Holding on to joy is important.  If I start to operate out of a mindset of fear of what could or couldn't happen then all the joy and anticipation will dissolve.

So...I choose joy!  I don't know what is ahead.  One day at a time.  I wake up each morning and quietly say to the little guy that we have another day and he has growing to do. 

Thanks for reading.